Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I'm here! My computer has been acting up and my brain is not functioning properly today so I'm running a bit behind! Wednesday mornings are hard because this girl needs her sleep and not getting home from class until 11pm and then trying to wind down before going to bed makes me tired the next day.

Speaking of class, I received my grades from my last two speeches last night. I was disappointed to get a 92% on both of them. Although my husband tried to convince me that getting a B on a speech is doing a great job, I continue to struggle with the stronghold of expecting perfection from myself.

When God prompted my heart to attend a Christian college to learn more about Him, He didn't tell me that I had to get A's, He wanted and wants me to be faithful and obey.

I try to convince myself that I tried my hardest and that is what matters but in the back of my mind I also remind myself that if God has called me to be a speaker, shouldn't I be getting A's in my speech class?

Next week concludes my class and our final is to do a group presentation. We are pretending to be the Christian Resource Group in which a Chicago church has hired to research the background and customs of Chinese immigrants in Chicago in order to reach them for Christ. Since my fellow group members are from all over in Illinois and 1 from Missouri, we will not be getting together to practice but doing all our pre-work over the internet. There is a lot riding on this final grade and I ask for your prayers as we work together.

As many of you know, I'm a bit of a control freak and so putting my grade in the hands of others, is difficult for me. I am trying very hard to keep my bossy self from coming out and attempting to be open-minded and considerate of others. I also need lots of prayer!! :)

I would appreciate any suggestions you may have on overcoming this stronghold.

I must add after all my complaining - I am thankful for what God is teaching me through this process - I must remember "It's not about me!!!"

Living fearlessly in Christ

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