Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's confession Thursday! I love being a student......when I have time to get my homework done. Contrary to what I thought would happen, I truly love being in school. In fact, I have even enjoyed doing homework as I dig deeper into the Word of God, textbooks, and my brain. Recently, I have found myself beginning to feel a little burnt out. Between chasing both my kids to basketball practices and games, looking for a job, 3 small groups, working part-time, keeping up with the housework, and writing a message for an upcoming pulpit fill, I've found it harder and harder to do my best on my homework. My last professor was pretty easy and didn't expect much and I found myself falling into the trap of not doing my best. Since I began this new class with a very strict and by-the-book professor, I have to straighten up and get back on track. I turned my first paper in on Monday and when I got online to check my grade yesterday, I was shocked when I saw a 70% as my grade. I have never got a C on a paper and very rarely a B! The anger immediately started to burn within me. How could he do this to me? Doesn't he realize that I want an A? Doesn't he realize that no other professor has given me a C? What is wrong with him? What a jerk!

I used my anger for good use and helped Nathan clean his room that went far too long without cleaning. As I cleaned and vented, God helped me realize that my professor had done nothing wrong. There was only one person to blame for this grade and it was No - that couldn't be! :) I didn't like having to be accountable for my effort on the paper, but I had to be. It was I that hurried. It was I that just tried to fill in space. It was I that failed to write it for God and not for man.

Humbling, oh so humbling - to point the finger at me, once again.

Lord, please forgive me for trying to go my own way again. Forgive me for trying to do just enough to please man instead of doing my best for You. Help me to remember that You have placed me where I need to be and I need to learn all I can from where I am. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Living fearlessly in Christ

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