When my husband and I had our first child at the age of twenty, I had no idea that I should be making choices to protect my marriage. How I wish that someone would have prepared me for the issues I would face with setting family priorities and boundaries once children entered the picture.
From speaking with many Christ following women in central Illinois, I have found most being as naïve, as I was, as I believed that our new little bundle of joy would only enhance our marriage. That was, until the baby was actually born!
For me and many other moms, it is common to put our children and their needs above our husbands and sometimes even God. This is not God’s plan for us and I am excited for the opportunity to share with other Christ following moms, my experiences and hard core facts about setting priorities and boundaries in marriage. I have learned much through discussing this topic with other women, learning from other Christ following moms, my own personal experiences, doing much reading from the last decade and internet research.
So the question to answer comes down to: how can something a married couple made together be the root of what could tear them apart and how do we keep that from happening?
It is in no way the child’s fault but the reactions of the parents in the midst of an addition to their family. Although caring for a child takes much time and energy, I believe that nurturing marriage is a wise investment. A family begins when a man and woman become one through marriage. Children are additions to an already established family.
Titus 2:4 “so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.” (Holy Bible New American Standard Translation) The responsibilities of a young mom are clear: love your husband and love your children. What it does not say is: love you children and let your husband fend for himself!
God created marriage and gives much input to the subject through His Word. God created marriage for pleasure and for procreation. The Bible’s timeline shows God was first, and then He created man and marriage, and then procreation. Although this makes sense as we read the Bible, when we add children to a marriage, our priorities can be easily altered.
“Children. When husbands and wives become parents, they go through a significant transition that changes their lives and their marriage completely and permanently. These changes cause a husband and wife, to stop and wonder, “What has happened to our lives…what has happened to our marriage?” (Morgan and Kuykendall pg. 21)
The issue of Christ following wives neglecting their husbands to be more child focused runs rampant today in central Illinois. The ability to learn from others is a powerful tool in our lives, so use this information to understand how your marriage not only affects the married couple but also the children involved.
Have a great day!
Living fearlessly in Christ